"No one has three colicky, fussy, refluxy babies", my famous words, words I was forcing out with a heap of hope. Apparently you can have three babies all the same, three little ones who dislike sleep and don't know the meaning of calm.
With Trexen we didn't know better, I had baby-sat for years but that is different and I thought maybe all babies are fussy in their own way. With Pacey I held my breath hoping and praying he would be different. Week two rolled around and he began crying and spitting up just like his big brother did. I struggled for several weeks in a bit of a funk pleading with God to change my babe. With Brenner I just knew it had to be different, I mean he already was a boy (not what I expected) and was so late (not what I expected) surely I would get a calm one.
As my husband kindly says, "why are you surprised, this is just how our babies are". This time I've been determined to try it all, not leave one option unturned. We swaddled, gave tummy drops, tried all natural colic calm, I went off of dairy for a week which was so challenging and actually made Bren worse, and today I gave it one more go. After a grueling 50 minute car ride with him screaming we walked into the chiropractor's office with not overly high hopes.
Anyways the chiropractor was great, he was very knowledgable and gentle. He informed me that adjustments work with 94% of colicky babies and he was sure Brenner would be better. After discovering that one side of Brenner's neck was off he adjusted it and said see you one more time and hope it helps. Well...
We left the office with Brenner screaming so I thought I will take him to the mall, feed him and casually shop for a new swimsuit, I mean having only one kiddo was a treat. We got to the swimsuit part and I found one I loved, it was perfect and on sale. Headed to the dressing rooms and my supposed "new dream baby" turned hellish screaming like there was no tomorrow. How in the world did I become "that mom" the one everyone is secretly cursing hoping you would run out of the store. I'm sure they were thinking that stupid suit was not worth all the annoyance but I live far away and am going swimming tomorrow!
To end the saga I got the suit, frantically left sweating in a freezing cold mall with my skirt all twisted and my nursing top half snapped. On the up and up Brenner slept in the car which is a miracle in itself and sat quietly in his swing for 15 minutes. The adjustment didn't produce a complete switch but we have improvement and that's all I wanted. I am different this time, still frustrated yet at the same time just moving on and not letting this put a damper on summer. I know and take comfort in the fact that by next May Brenner will be sweet as pie just like his big brothers and to me makes this all worth it. (well they aren't always so sweet, Trexen refused to smile:)
You have heard me refer to my oldest, Trexen, as strong-willed, passionate and by far my biggest challenge. He rides a roller coaster, up one minute and down the next. Our entire family's day and mood in the house is determined by how he wakes up in the morning. There are so many traits of my own that I see in him but I didn't posses them as a child or at least not as strong and now that I am an adult I pretty much know how to recognize and handle these traits but he doesn't. Since the birth of baby Brenner, Trex has handled it well but things have been stressful and I haven't found the best way to connect with him and parent him through this season.
A friend of mine who always seems to have the right thing to say or helpful ideas told me about a conference she went to centered around sleep issues in children and spirited children. She said she thought of me and wished I had been there to hear it. Thankfully she bought the books and kindly borrowed them to me this morning...I am already half way through and am blown away.
Just like that song on the radio that hits you to your core or that message in church when you feel as though God is speaking directly to you this book has nailed Trexen on the head, it describes him to a tee and I am astonished. Here is just a snip-it:
~The word that distinguishes spirited children from other children is more. They are normal children who are more intense, persistent, sensitive, perceptive and uncomfortable with change than other children.
~No matter where their intensity is focused, the reactions of a spirited child are always powerful.
~Spirited kids quickly respond to the slightest noises, smells, lights, textures or changes in mood. They are easily overwhelmed in crowds.
~Spirited children notice everything, the slightest change in environment and can remember things that no one else does.
~Spirited children are uncomfortable with change.
~A quick withdrawal from anything new is typical. They need time to warm up before they're ready to participate.
The book goes on to describe temperates and personality traits and spends a lot of time on labels. Spirited children generally don't try to misbehave or disobey, they are usually misunderstood or not channeling their intensity correctly. However to the world they are not listening, they are wild, they are rude, they are defiant and so on. I am guilty of thinking and saying these very labels about my own child.
Trexen is everything the book described above and when I spent a good chunk of money on soccer lessons, embarrassed myself trying to get him to play and then being mad at him for crying and refusing to participate I was not taking him and his needs into consideration. New things are uncomfortable for him, he is an introvert and groups are scary, the loud noises on the field were too much and instead of recognizing that from the beginning I wanted to force him to be ok with it all.
The book doesn't offer a quick fix or definite steps to live by but there are things I can improve on as a parent and ways I can help him manage his very lively spirit. I love how this book looks at spirited children in a positive light, the same intensity that can cause Trexen to lash out at his brother or little friends when they ruin his tower allows him to love and care for those closest to him with the strongest passion. He loves his new baby brother with all his heart, the same baby that is frustrating him and annoying him when he cries.
If you think you may have a spirited child I highly recommend this book to you. I so badly want to make everyone in my family and all our friends read this book not to prove that I am not failing as a parent and that it is Trexen's temperament and the way he was born BUT more importantly so everyone can appreciate him, so everyone can look past the tantrums to see the goodness. Mondays are difficult for us as we try to get back into our weekly routine but hopefully I can look at his intensity in a more positive light tomorrow.
A simple concept paired with great friends and lots of kids made for one awesome sidewalk chalk party. I had come across the idea for a chalk party on a blog a while ago but there were not many details or ideas but I thought the concept was fantastic. After a little crafting, planning and setting up our play group sidewalk chalk party was a blast.
The boys and I arrived early to set up and as Pacey stuck his tongue into a cupcake and Trexen started helping draw the race track I had to take a breath and remind myself this is for the kids, this won't be exactly how I pictured in my mind and these little things are no big deal. Sometimes when I plan parties I want to set it all up and leave it at that, just pretend there are guests and not mess anything up, but then that wouldn't be much of a party would it.
Then the party guests start arriving and those thoughts disappear and are replaced with excitement. I had close to 100 pieces of chalk, made a race track for hot wheels, hopscotch and had water bottles to turn chalk into paint. There were about 20 moms and close to 50 kids ready for a morning of fun.
Everyone snacked on cotton candy cupcakes, strawberries, Popsicles and more.
The kids were so creative, taking time to chalk, chase and climb at the park.
Thanks to my friend Jenna for opening her house for potty runs and helping me set up. A perfect sidwalk chalk party!
Details on the super relaxing, extremely enjoyable Summer Bucket List party to come...
Three parties in one week, three days in a row might be a bit much but I am still excited. I wish I could say I am running on caffeine but since I'm feeding a little one I can't, instead I've been waking up with morning runs and letting the cute decorations keep me going. My body is also working without dairy this week as I am seeing if that makes any difference for our overly fussy baby B but more on that later.
For now I just have a few quick DIY projects to show you. The first is super simple but kind of addicting...spray painted wine bottles. They are adorable and the possibilities are endless, I just may start a collection.
Start with an empty, clean wine bottle and spray paint white.
Next choose a color (my favorite part) and spray the bottle. I prefer the Krylon brand of paint.
Now it's time to get creative. You can leave the bottles plain, add ribbon, buttons, labels, chalkboard, etc. I just used things I had easily assessable in my craft room since time was limited but you could really take your time and make them awesome. When they are finished add fresh flowers for a fun centerpiece.
I am going to use these for my Summer Bucket List party and my in-laws anniversary party.
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Next for my in-laws 40th anniversary party I was put in charge of party favors so I created labels for homemade jam (made by my mother-in-law) and decorated the jars. I found a really awesome, free, jam labelizer, printed the labels on sticker paper and attached to the jars.
I cut squares of fabric and placed over the lids to add some flare. Hopefully the party guests will enjoy.
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On other quick project I did this week was for the Sidewalk Chalk Party on Friday morning. I needed a fun table cloth but was afraid a plastic one would blow in the wind at the park. So since I had all the spray paint out I decorated a plain white fabric one. Didn't take long and it is fun and colorful perfect for a kids play date.
Alright I started this post at 1am and just now had a second to finish it. Off to play tractors with two little boys, make food and decorate the outdoor seating area for my party tonight.
The weekend is now memory but definitely a good one for us. It was filled with friends, family and summer goodness. Friday the boys and I went to the splash pad and as we pulled up I was overwhelmed by the amount of minivans, moms and small children running in all directions. I guess everyone now knows about the Deforest splash pad, it is no longer a new secret. Despite the scorching sun and crowd the boys still had fun with friends and it was a successful official summer PB & J.
Once we made it home and endured a solid 15 minute car ride with Brenner screaming (he hates the car seat) the packing began. We headed to the cottage this weekend, well just for 24 hours but still the van was jam packed. Cottaging is one of our most favorite summer things and this trip delivered relaxation, fishing, snacking and amazing family time.
Pacey is obsessed with fishing, woke up begging to fish and went to bed asking to fish.
Driving the boat with Uncle Andy is always a favorite.
Pacey walks around saying "mommy I love you", "daddy love you" and this weekend he smothered Brenner with love.
I love cottaging, not because I like the outdoors, bugs, boat or any of that but because the boys adore it and it is pure family time.
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I forgot to mention Friday night we went to dinner with friends at a really cool place called Graze. It is all local foods and graze-fed meat, right up Jeff's alley. The food was delicious, especially the Sassy Cow cheese curds and the atmosphere was just as great but the company is the best part in my mind.
Lots going on this week, three parties to be exact! Check back for details and pictures.
Every time I attempt a photo shoot with the boys I think "this time will be different, I will get a good picture" and after about five minutes of scrambling around, yelling "say cheese" and "look at me" I am disappointed. However I have done enough of these little at home photo shoots to know that I will wrap it up laughing as it for sure will be hilarious.
For Brenner's birth announcements I spent an afternoon decorating an old wagon which even involved me going to Walmart to buy a wooden letter. Jeff took the big boys out of the house one morning so I quickly set up the shoot. I tested the lighting, made a plan and held my breath. I know my babies and know they are not like the ones in pictures, they are not calm or content so I had a few seconds to snap a good picture. Quietly yet quickly I undressed him, set him in the wagon and began clicking away. After a few pictures he peed, ok no big deal you won't see it in the picture, I continued to reposition him and click. Then it happened, he pooped everywhere, not just a normal poop either, it shot out of the wagon and all over the white blanket. Great, just great, that ended our first attempt. I took time to study one of my favorite photographers, tried again and ended up with this.
Today I tried again, got the white blanket out, got everyone dressed and envisioned the adorable pinterest pictures that scroll through my homepage. Oh my it sure was funny...don't drop him!
My mom saw this pose on pinterest and thought it would be so sweet, ya well this is reality people. Look at Brenner's pout!
I found this pic on pinterest, here is our re-creation~
Seriously so funny! Here is one of the semi-good ones~
Not quite how I envisioned but I think they captured the moment!
The idea of vacation has been floating through my mind today. My wonderful hubby returned to work, his three week vacation is over and real life has begun. Since Brenner arrived it has been his job to entertain the big boys, they played outside, went fishing, had a backyard camp out and more.
Now that he is back behind his desk I am here with three small kiddos all needing attention at the very same moment. Trex and Pace are trying to be helpers but they also want mommy to play, they need a snack, someone took some one's toy and so on.
As I try to make a new pinterest recipe (which was a complete fail, maybe because I got distracted with two little helpers cleaning my closet and forgot to set the timer or maybe it was just a bad recipe), race around minimizing the mess, wash dishes, take the boys for a walk and put laundry away all with a little hot pocket baby attached to me I have another thought on vacation...has God taken a vacation from my life?
I know this probably isn't true or possible but after endless prayers from everyone for a sleepy, cuddly, content baby we yet again have an extremely fussy one. What is going on here? Most people say "oh well God knows you can handle it" or "well at least you are used to it" or "you do great with no sleep" but I was so looking forward to enjoying our newborn. We don't get to just coo and stare at our little one, oh no we are bouncing, wearing and shushing him all the time. Although I am used to this and shouldn't be surprised it is a little frustrating and brings me to my next vacation thought...
I need a vacation! We do have some pretty fun things planned this year but I am learning today I will need to focus on the mini vacations. The times I get to escape the house and watch silly reality tv with friends, slip away to sew or lace up my shoes and get the blood pumping on a run. Everyday is not going to be fun or filled with laughs but there will be good moments and when all else fails I will mix a drink. You may wonder what a nursing mama who doesn't like alcohol drinks during the day on the job...a kiddie cocktail of course.
This will always be my drink of choice especially this summer. What is your drink of choice, a Starbucks maybe, a tea or lemonade? If you don't have one get one, now! Do you have any vacations planned or fun things to look forward to? I hope so, even if it is just a quiet nap time once a week. PS- Are you wondering how I found time for this post? Well I made the mistake of sitting down on our desk stool just for a sec. I finally have all boys sleeping and instead of getting something accomplished I am glued to the seat typing away. I just can't get up but I must, I must move...
Pacey and I love red ripe strawberries, we are the strawberry monsters of the house. Last year our PB & J play group went strawberry picking and had a fantastic time so I planned another trip to the patch this year too. However after a night of being awake with a fussy baby and very sick two year old I wasn't sure strawberry picking would happen.
As my mom delivered medicine, donuts, fruit and juice early this morning, the flooring guy installed our upstairs bathroom floor, Pacey laid lethargic on the couch with a high fever, our family room floor was covered with hot wheels and I was in robot mode from no sleep Trex and I decided to get over it and get dressed to go strawberry picking.
I am glad we did it, one hour away from the chaos, away from crying and out in the fresh air. We met two new moms and their kiddos, Trexen fed some goats and we came home with 5lbs of strawberries. I am excited to cut them up, sprinkle on sugar and enjoy.
Two and a half weeks have passed and it is clear Brenner has colic. His pediatrician thinks it is internal colic but in my mind colic is colic, he is fussy, thinks he needs to eat constantly and is determined to make the next year challenging. Despite that though we are going to try our very best to make the most of summer, get dressed and venture out even when I am in robot mommy mode.
Happy June everyone! I am so excited for this summer season, late nights, campfires, parties, play dates and more.
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