It started on a whim, something to keep my mind occupied and my Type A, like to stay busy personality on track. Everyone had told me "no one has 2 colicky babies", "oh this one will be such a good sleeper, you deserve it", yes well they were wrong. Pacey entered the world more calm and relaxed giving me great hope but at two weeks old he became cranky, he decided then and there sleep was not for him. Picture below explains how he got the nickname "peeps", always peeping his eye open.
In order to keep going and prevent myself from slipping into a sleep deprived coma I started sewing. Terrible at first my mom was patient showing me the basics and I practiced every free second I had. Soon this turned into a business idea, evolving into Poplin and now not just a hobby or business but something I look forward to. I love being a part of craft shows, unique events and hosting Poplin Parties.
This past week Jenna and I hosted a Thirty-One/Poplin Party. She is a Thirty-One consultant and had all her products on display while I set up all my Poplin inventory. Lots of people stopped by the open house, enjoying treats from Bumbi's Bakery, sipping wine and shopping all the great items. As I chatted, answering questions that slightly nervous, oh my what am I doing feeling rushed through me.
At every show or party it hits me for a quick second, not only are the handmade products I've worked so hard to make on display but so am I as a crafter, an artist. Jenna is a fantastic Thirty-One consultant, all bubbly and truly loves the products but no one is judging her personally. She didn't make the bags so if someone says they don't like that fabric, size or price it doesn't reflect onto her. However when people say those things in front of my Poplin table (and yes many people are not shy or quiet with their opinions) it is on me. I choose my fabrics, I decide what products to make and I try my very best to sew them perfectly every time but we all know that is not realistic.
As much as this "oh crap my stuff isn't good enough" feeling stings for a moment I embrace it. My Poplin business is a challenge for me, it pushes me to be better, to put myself out there and to stay strong. People are judgmental, it is human nature and in the past few weeks I have experienced it more than ever. Everyone has an opinion on everything, think like this, do that, don't do this but in the end I have two choices. Be hurt and defeated or listen and remember to not be the same. It's always been my nature to somewhat judge, I am a rule following black and white person so it is almost habit or instinct to think "what in the world are they doing" or "oh please get over it" but recently life has taught me to not do that. Everyone's situation is different, what is important to one is not to another, what is obvious to some is not to many and what is a super cute coffee cozy to one shopper is a "waste of money and frivolous" item to another.
We all are on display at one point or another which can be scary, intimidating and unpleasant but it can also stretch us helping our heart grow. I now expect that nervous feeling at craft shows and parties but I like it, I learn new things each time and look forward to the next opportunity to display my fun and fresh handmade items.
Unlike the past few weeks this one has brought a slowness and time at home. No rushing off to work everyday, no packing bags and lunches and no having to get dressed if we don't want. The days are still flying by but the boys and I are just enjoying the time. Monday morning we welcomed friends over for a long overdue play date, Tuesday we went to my mom's and spent time with her daycare kiddos and today, well let me tell you.
This morning I decided I should actually try something I've pinned to my board on Pinterest. I mean way too many minutes, ok maybe hours, are spent scrolling through ideas, pinning and sharing without me actually doing them. So I flipped through my kids board, evaluated the materials I had available and decided it was SLIME DAY!
As pancakes were sizzling on the griddle my mom called wondering what we were up to. She only had her 4 year old boy this morning so they jumped in the car to join us. Three boys and a mama willing to make slime, it was a good time. Simple ingredients and an easy recipe; other than Pacey trying to eat the gooey, sticky mixture all went well. Check out the tutorial/recipe here. (I used white glue and blue food coloring)
Our slime was a bit runny which could have been attributed to one of the helpers adding too much water, not letting the borax dissolve enough or not thoroughly mixing, who knows.
Just as the tutorial said it offered us a good 3.5 minutes of fun! Pacey lasted the longest but also made the biggest mess.
Slime time ended and we ventured outside to enjoy the weather. After collecting three fresh eggs and swinging on the swings for a while I had the great idea to go on an "adventure walk". I threw some granola bars in my pocket, filled the water bottle and strapped them into their car seats. Less than a mile down the road we pulled over and started our adventure on the Mackenzie Center trails in the woods. Let's just say there are no pictures, it was a better idea in my head than in action and after walking while carrying Pacey for 40 minutes I slumped into the driver's seat completely exhausted.
Ahhh now just hoping for a quiet nap time...
(Did you notice Trexen's shirt??? I think we have a 4th birthday party theme:)
During the week when I am the first out of bed, blinking rapidly to see and hobbling to the shower (I am having major tailbone issues) my little boys sleep soundly tucked in tight. The weekend rolls around, I stay up way too late having my own little Pinterest party and look forward to sleeping in past 6 and those same boys are awake whining bright and early. I had planned to take them to the circus this morning, a mommy and sons date while daddy tiled the kitchen backsplash but plans quickly unraveled the second my eyes opened.
Both boys woke up extremely crabby, Pacey crying and not feeling up to par and Trexen just worked up about everything which isn't unusual but also isn't great when thinking about attending a circus. Heck why did I need to pay to go to a circus when our house this morning was circus enough!
So what was our circus' main attraction...Nama and Grandpa to the rescue. They swept the boys out of the house headed for Tractor Supply and Wally World, I know so exciting but the boys loved it while Jeff and I were able to think, communicate and start on the backsplash together. I quickly abandoned him for time in my sewing room getting an order shipped to a store in Illinois and getting ready for the Poplin Party. Once the boys returned we decided to take a break, pack up some towels and head for the pool.
Probably the last thing a 28 week pregnant mama wants to do in the winter but I was holding onto the hope that no one else would be there to witness my pasty skin, bulging belly and boobs too big for my suit (probably the first time that has been a problem). Thankfully we had the pool to ourselves and enjoyed the mid-afternoon swim so much.
Of course at first they were both hesitant and unsure making Jeff and I question are decision but in the end were fish all pruned up begging to stay a little longer. Trexen jumped in at least 50 times going under and laughing. Pacey also loved jumping in, maybe a little too much as he jumped right in while I was sitting on the side and Jeff was not close by. My mama instincts sprung into action and I grabbed his arm so he only was under for a second but made us realize he is not afraid.
Not the Saturday I envisioned but sometimes those are the best days. Things got accomplished, we didn't pay much attention to time and we made a very simple yet fun memory.
Clear your calendar for next Thursday night because you are invited!!! Join Jenna and I for a Thirty-One & Poplin Party. It will be open house style so feel free to drop by anytime between 6-8pm.
Check out the new Thirty-One catelog, products and get more info on booking your own party.
Shop Poplin's selection of baby items including gift sets and ribbon blankies, coffee cozies, hot/cold rice packs, journals, rings and more.
We hope to see you there and would love your support!
I'm sitting at our new kitchen desk looking out the big window watching large fluffy snowflakes float through the sky. A delicious cup of cocoa accompanies me and tears stream down my cheeks.
There is so much love in my life, so many lovely people and my heart is filled with thankfulness, seriously Love Rocks! Part of my heart hurts though, it seems like the happiest days are also the saddest reminding me of the empty void, unfulfilled desire lingering deep inside. We had our PB & J play group Valentine's Party this morning and it rocked, chaotic fun that couldn't have been better. 30 kids, 15 mamas and a table full of sweets made me smile, exactly what I envisioned as my hubby and I scrambled all week working til midnight to have a functioning kitchen.
The kids skipped through the house, excited to eat candy in the morning and happy to see friends. The rice sensory bin was a bit hit along with the tattoos, cake pops and musical heart game.
Everyone went with the flow, stepping over trains and shoes while passing babies around.
As the little ones left thanking me for "the best party ever" and my little helper assisted in clean up I couldn't help but let my mind go there. The place that consumes my every day, the place that makes my throat tight. It just isn't fair, when will it be my turn to dress a little girl up in head to toe pink to celebrate my favorite day, host an all girls Valentine's tea party, paint tiny finger nails and have this hole in my deep inside filled. Love does rock and I am surrounded by an abundance of it but as I sweep piles of rice and crumbs of cake I fight back the tears and continue my inner struggle, pleading with God for comfort and peace while being so incredibly mad at him I don't even want to talk.
Someday I will get my dream, have a daughter to share in the pinkest, loveliest day of the year. Until then a part of me will be sad and missing but I will enjoy my boys, my high energy boys who wear guitar shirts and think a red dragon is the perfect Valentine's decoration.
Party Details:
~ Valentine's Printable Party- Frog Prince Paperie
~Cake Pops- Bumbi's Bakery
~ I made the rest of the decor using ideas from Pinterest and blogs. All the mama's recieved flower pins from my Poplin shop too.
From night number one when Trex was born we quickly realized we were in for some long sleepless nights I said to myself "don't not do things just because you are too tired". Throughout that fall and winter I would bundle the screaming little boy up even when I didn't want to, even when it was cold and even when it was time consuming because he loved the outdoors and needed fresh air.
Three and a half years later and I am still tired, he still isn't a great sleeper but that boy loves the outdoors. This week I am tired, sick, run down and exhausted but I keep playing that in my mind, "don't not do things just because you are too tired". It is hard and always easier to just stay inside but we've taken advantage of the weather this week discovering our outdoors man is also a cross country skier.
We live next to the Wilson's, a retired couple who are the sweetest neighbors. Mrs. Wilson used to be my middle school reading teacher and cross country coach, she is a photographer and avid gardener who seems to never age a day. Mr. Wilson aka "Wilson" to the boys loves the outdoors especially skiing. Ever since Trexen's first winter he has been talking about getting him on skies. They collect cross country skies and get all of their grand kids out on them. Well this winter is the one, they brought over skies for the boys and anxiously awaited watching out their window for the first attempt.
I don't love the outdoors and with my rapidly growing belly am not as agile trudging through the snow but he wants to ski. So I've bundled them up, attached the skies and followed Trexen through the woods several times this week all while carrying Pacey Pie who still hates winter. Trexen just loves it, he doesn't whine, he doesn't cry, he falls and gets up and he yells for mommy and Pacey to catch up. He has gotten so good Wilson brought him over some real skies, the ones with boots and poles and everything. Trexen calls them "camping skies", not sure why, but he begs to go on the camping skies every night.
It is so much easier to stay inside, so much warmer and less taxing on this preggo body but I would miss so much joy, pure happiness from my biggest boy. Obviously there are times for rest and times when my exhaustion has to take president but this week we will keep going, push through the sickness and take advantage of the balmy (don't you just love that word) winter weather.
