The sound of rain tapping against the window is the only noise early this morning as I sneak away to type...wait, if only that were true! I know you all love honesty so the reality is my overly loud pump is humming away, coffee is brewing, I am buttering toast with one hand and it has taken me about thirty minutes to write this much.
I will probably have this post finished sometime tonight as my time is even less my own now. Four of my most amazing friends threw Brenner and I a perfect Sip and See the other night. Everyone knows I love parties especially to celebrate babies but the past twenty weeks were hard and I wasn't ready for a baby shower. Of course I am in love with my new bundle and extremely thankful we are both in good health but my feelings haven't left, a bit of my heart is still sad and there is and always will be things for God and I to work out.
My friends know this, they may not completely understand but each of them respects me. With that said they also know I always want to celebrate and I may not have been ready before Brenner arrived but they knew I would embrace this and be happy after. So we celebrated with awesome appetizers, sweet drinks and adorable baby gifts. (My mom made a onesie, pants and a matching bib out of my dad's old shirt).
One thing I've learned is that God has been preparing my support group, people in my life to catch me when I fall and lift me up and that is just what has happened. My family is and always will be my biggest support but this required more and God knew that and so friendships have been strengthened, I've let them into my heart, my weaknesses and most private bits of my life and the rewards are outstanding.
A first bath, an announcement picture disaster and two in love big brother stories to come.