Capture the Moments

Sometimes it is difficult for me to live for today and enjoy the present. For a planner like myself the future is where it's at, the possibilities, the what-ifs and dreams of it all. I tend to rush through the now to get to the next and then later wish I had slowed down. One of my most favorite Christmas gifts is a necklace my mom gave me, it says "Capture the Moments" with a camera on it and although I was consumed with sadness and disbelief there were many joyful, amazing moments to capture this Christmas.

My youngest sis and her hubby were home from DC and we were thrilled. The boys couldn't get enough of them and our family felt right again. Jeff and I bought the boys a wooden play kitchen and the rest of the fam all went in on the accessories, tons of food, shopping carts and a cash register.

Christmas night we went to my mom's for more gifts, fun with the family and of course some very competitive games.

To end our time with my sister we went to the Dells for games at Knuckleheads and lunch at Buffalo Phil's- thanks to my wonderful grandma. It is always a riot to see so many adults in my family chasing two little boys around, laughing and making them the center of it all.

Christmas 2011 was filled with smiles, tears, hugs, toys, games, pj's and many memorable moments I am happy to have captured.

Raw & Real

***Warning- this post is as raw and real as it gets. I understand some won't get it, some will judge and others may just think it's crazy but it is honesty at it's purest form. Although I love to read inspiring, uplifting, positive blogs I really appreciate the ones that are true. It is easy to share the good moments but growth happens through the rough ones. It is fun and enjoyable to read about the good days, successful projects and memorable moments but life is more than that and we all know there are low points. If you don't believe this or only want to read my positive posts please skip this one.***

I am mad.

I am confused.

I am heart-broken.

I am devestated.

I am crying.

I don't want this to be real.

I don't want this to be happening.

I don't want this to be true.

I have prayed for years and years for a daughter. Dreamed about the possibility and reality of it. I was given two little boys, not my plan, extremely difficult to swallow and grasp but I came away stronger and in love with two little ones. I always knew my girl was coming though.

This summer I prayed consistently to get pregnant in August with a healthy baby girl. One afternoon during naptime as I layed on the couch journaling, talking to God I heard Him more clearly than ever "don't doubt me, she is coming".

I got pregnant in August and have had a really great pregnancy. It has been completely different, everything pointing to a girl. I read all the books, believed the science and followed it to a tee. Above that I've had an overwhelming peace and comfort, God telling me "she is here, just trust me". The u/s technician didn't tell us at the appointment, he didn't tell us to look away from the screen and the baby's legs were crossed. We were sure he wrote "girl" in the envelope.

The ultrasound has come and gone and we were told it is another boy.
We are all in shock, especially me.
I am so confused, it doesn't seem possible. Nothing, I mean nothing, has pointed to a boy and I left that appointment still with such peace knowing it had to be a girl. I was excited to have the best Christmas ever, to start making my dreams a reality and to thank God for being so true, so good.

Instead I am questioning and my heart hurts. Our Christmas was joyful and I have lots to be thankful for but this wound is deep.

I've cried continuously.

I've said and thought really bad things.

I've let my family and best friends see me at my worst, at my most vulnerable state.

I know a healthy baby in itself is a miracle. I get it, I am blessed beyond belief.
But that doesn't make the pain any less. God has etched this desire for a girl so deep in my heart it is almost unbearable. God is my father and I don't believe He wants to purposefully see me in pain, sad and suffering. There is something I need from this, I just can't see it now because this sucks, it is just mean and feels like a slap in the face. Other than marrying my husband I don't think I have ever felt more sure of anything than I did about this being a girl.

 I am trying to still trust God, He has a perfect plan but it is harder than ever.
I am trying to find hope.
Hope that this won't be our last child, hope my husband can be open to that, hope that I will want to take the chance again, hope that in another 20 weeks I can have excitement and happiness again.

It will take time, I will be mad and sad for weeks, months, maybe longer.
 I am questioning God, I am asking why, I am really not convinced three boys is right.

I want to have hope again. I want to dream again. I want all my anger to diminish and I want to trust God.
Both my mom and best friend have said, "this is not final, get that out of your head, God is good and will give you a girl just maybe not now".

I cling to that and them.

Last Minute Projects

While being consumed by sickness this week and tending to my kiddos every need I forgot about a few last minute gifts I needed. Well not completely forgot but pushed it out of my right here, right now thoughts. For Jeff's family we exchange gifts with the kids and are doing white elephant gifts for adults this year.

My hubby has three sisters and I like to give them a little something this year so I made each of them and my mother-in-law some homemade laundry soap. It required few ingredients and not too much time which is exactly the kind of project I could manage this week. Grating the bar of soap was by far the most difficult part, my arm is still feeling it.

For our white elephant exchange I have my brother-in-law who is a manly man, a contractor who builds houses for a living. As I was thinking about the perfect gift I wanted something that combined his skills with my love for...pink. A good friend who is also a builder gave me an old, very used, semi-disgusting tool belt, it was perfect. With a little pink spray paint, trip to the craft store and lots of hot glue I will be adding some pink pizazz to their work site. Can't wait to see him open it.

Have a very Merry Christmas! I am so excited for the boy's gift, I will post after the weekend and also have a new Poplin product share.

Sicker than a Dog

Not quite sure what qualifies as "sicker than a dog" or how one measures a dog's sickness but I am for sure my two little boys are sicker. They are pathetic, lethargic and down right dreadful looking. Somehow out of no where a simple normal cold has turned quickly and viciously into influenza, the flu, the real respiratory flu.















After a weekend of sky high fevers, 104 degrees, and very little sleep I called the doctor yesterday. As a child I used to get scary high fevers and still tend to shoot well past 100 if sick so as a mom I generally don't panic when the thermometer keeps going. However when Tylenol wasn't helping and it was consistently high I decided to check with the doctor. For some reason I worry more about Pacey, maybe it's because he's small for his age or because he can't verbalize as well as his big brother but his limb body had me alarmed.

I packed them up, trudged into the doctor, put on my fake smile as the medical student fumbled around just stalling for their doctor to be ready and then witnessing my baby terrified during a chest x-ray. Due to my pregnancy I couldn't be in the room and oh was that bad, two nurses had to hold him down and in the end both boys were scared and crying. After it all we were sent home with "they both have influenza, they will be miserable for 7-10 days, keep doing what you are doing" oh and "this is very dangerous for you being pregnant, try and wash your hands frequently, drink plenty of fluids and get lots of rest". Are you kidding me??? My littles don't want anyone but me, they are coughing all up in my face and I have their snot in my hair.

As another day full of whining, coughing, fevers and germs has started I am armed with my Lysol. In my mind spraying everything, and I mean everything, with Lysol, opening the windows a few times during the day, boiling toothbrushes and nuks, consuming numerous vitamins and stepping outside to breath in fresh air will help.

Last night was not filled with sleep instead both boys were on top of me coughing and I felt claustrophobic, not just hot and bothered but legitimately claustrophobic. Like if I don't escape I am going to throw up, their coughs were making me queasy and the snot just disgusting. Normally I don't get like but I think the combination of a tiny baby doing flips in my belly and two others pulling, needing their mama made me a bit crazy. As I've learned from two colicky babies though, everything is better when morning comes. If you can make it to see daylight you can get through. So we will get through, I am thankful for the meal friends brought last night, thankful this can't last forever and really thankful daddy has Thursday and Friday off!

Cookies & Cream

Despite having two very sick boys this weekend we still managed to embrace the Christmas season. Every year we do a family baking day with the girls making peanut butter cup cookies, sugar cookies, Mexican tea cakes and new this year kisses macaroon.

Baking day seems to evolve each year depending on the season of life, who has the best counter space and how we approach the day long project. This year my sister Jenna offered to host, she has no kids, a large island and plenty of great baking tools. We also decided to each make two cookie doughs the night before so when we gathered it was all about the baking and not preparing.

As life with kids would have it though we were met Saturday morning sick boys with high fevers, barking coughs and an exhausted mommy and daddy barely functioning on two hours of sleep. There was no way these boys were going anywhere (supposed to go to my MIL's for the morning). Thankfully my kiddos are the only ones on my side of the family and most things generally revolve around them so when I called with the news it was no problem, they packed up their gear and everyone came to my house for the baking day.

****Side Note: I Lysoled the entire house, aired it out and we kept the kids out of the kitchen.

He was given a few of his own cookies to decorate.

Even though much of my time was consumed with sick little ones the cookies tasted delicious and the company was unbeatable.


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Every year I try to come up with a homemade or semi-homemade gift for our closest family friends. We have been blessed with the most amazing friends and I like to give a little something to remind them of our special they are to us. Each family has little ones too so my gifts are generally a family item. Last year it was mason jars filled with homemade hot cocoa mix, marshmallows and mints. This year I put together some snow cream sundae buckets.

I found these really cute and festive printable tags for free and customized them.  I then printed a recipe for snow cream on some red velum paper and taped to the back.

Now all the families need to wait for is some fresh snow! Happy Sunday.

PB & J Christmas Party

Festive food, Christmas crafts, a gift exchange and an entire play room filled with wrapping paper could only mean one thing...today was our PB & J Christmas Party. There were 12 mamas and close to 30 kids in attendance making for one happy, jolly (and loud) party. Everyone brought a snack or drink to share including chocolate milk with whipped cream, cider donuts, Christmas rice krispies and so much more.

Our wonderful host, Jenna, had foam puppets for the kids and wow did they love them. The older ones created Santa's, reindeer and snowmen while the little ones snacked on all the goodies.

The gift exchange was probably my highlight, all the kids were so excited. I had picked names a few weeks ago and gifts had to be under $10. All the littles sat in a circle, well kind of, awaiting their gift. They delivered their present and then could open theirs, the room was chaotic yet filled with squeals and smiles.

Weston opening his present

Cedi with her new earrings

I am so thankful for this weekly group not only for my kids but for me. Being around other moms, sharing stories and celebrating the season together, a fantastic way to kick off the week before Christmas.

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As a holiday gift to you, enjoy 15% off your Poplin order today! Use coupon code: HOLIDAYS11 at checkout and as always if you live in the area I will reimburse shipping and deliver to you.

Merry Christmas!



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The Simple Things

I love the big hype, finalizing party plans and the time consuming task of wrapping presents but sometimes the season's simple things are where it's at. I've struggled a little this season trying to find ways to teach the boys about truly giving and thinking of others this season. They are for sure old enough to understand a little yet not quite old enough for many of the amazing volunteer opportunities offered.

Our church though is doing a Haiti gift project where you take a gallon size Ziploc, fill it with items for a child and then it gets shipped to them. I grabbed two bags this past Sunday and at first pictured a fun shopping trip with my boys teaching them all these great life lessons...then I snapped back into reality. I alone bought all the gifts and we filled the bags together. As the boys asked questions, begged to go see the little boy in Haiti, colored him pictures and we prayed for him I engraved the moment in my mind.

They got it, it is simple and small but for them powerful. Even this morning they ran to the fridge where they had ever so carefully put the postcard and said "is the little boy going to be so happy with our gifts", "why doesn't he have lots of toys", "can we pray for him again". My heart was filled, it was one small way to make a big difference.

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Daddy came home late last night but we had big plans. The boys and I made waffles, scrubbed syrup off in the tub and put on our snuggliest jammies. As soon as he walked in the door he knew something was up, "daddy, daddy can we go see lights" and he smiled nodding yes. I scurried around making hot cocoa and filling bowls with marshmallows. Simple but oh so exciting.

Our most favorite find of the night...a tiny house in the middle of town plastered with bright lights. They had moving presents, a north pole sign and my personal fav a Christmas countdown clock. We drove by twice, sitting in the middle of the road to gawk. I love these little adventures, there will be many more in the next few weeks.

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Another simple thing I am embracing this week...an expanding tummy. At almost 19 weeks my belly is popping out. It is definitely a mental game to remind myself this is good and supposed to happen but still a little shocking when I look in the mirror or try to wiggle my way into regular pants. I am excited to have a nice round tummy though so people know I am pregnant and I do think maternity clothes are in the near future.

Enjoy the simple things this week!

Feature- SnickerDoodle

I will occasionally feature other crafters and artists on this blog. It is a fun way for me to introduce you to some amazingly creative people. After you read the following bio stop by SnickerDoodle's facebook page and Etsy shop for some adorable finds.

Erica is the creator and owner of SnickerDoodle.

Here are a few fun facts about her...
~I have been crafting my whole life. I always have a space to create and leave my projects out. It's a great outlet for me. I also have a floral business where I specialize in weddings. I am creating something everyday!

~I create children's applique clothing, tutus, accessories, and much much more!

~Three things about myself... I have a 3 old son. This allows me to stay home with him and enjoy being a mom. I have been married for 7 years to a wonderful husband. He helps me everyday and encourages me to do what I love.  I also have a Floral Design business called Erica's Expressions and I have been doing that for 11 years.

Please stop by and like her Facebook page and check out her Etsy shop goodies. I love all the shirts, capes and the time out sign! Place an order today and save 15% using coupon code, Holiday15.

Big Boy Bed

It is so true what they say about the second child, they do get slighted in ways, things are never the same as with the first and frankly you just run out of energy. For Trexen's 2nd birthday we had a farm themed party complete with a homemade, way cool tractor bed. My husband spent hours planning and building that bed, I bought all the bedding ahead of time and we had the video camera charged.

Trexen's bed reveal was magical, he was beaming ear to ear, all of our family was here and as parents we felt accomplished, he will remember this forever. Our second child turned two three weeks ago, he did have a pretty cool race car party but there was no bed reveal. The plan was for my husband to build him a bulldozer bed, yellow with a steering wheel and way cool like big brothers. Well have I mentioned my husband is a computer programmer, he is pretty handy and a big outdoorsman but this bed was daunting to him. He didn't have time to buy all the materials, he attempted to start and quickly made a wrong cut and somehow Thanksgiving and our trip to Florida came faster than we anticipated.

 

So this week we seriously discussed the bed situation, I wanted it finished so Pacey could move into the big boy room and my husband really didn't want to build it. After a lengthy discussion I weakened, I don't know if it is my constant headaches or lack of full steam ahead energy but I agreed to buy one. Gasp, I know, not doing the same thing for Pacey. In the end we decided to buy both boys new beds, matching beds with drawers underneath. Well things didn't go quite as planned this week, my wonderful hubby went shopping after work for the beds and mattresses while the boys and I anxiously awaited at home. As he arrived, tired and annoyed with shopping I realized he purchased all the wrong stuff, oak instead of white and youth instead of regular twin.

Fast forward through some ugly conversations, disappointed boys and "I'm sorry" all around. Friday night at 7:15pm came and things were finished, I bathed the boys, called my mom and practiced excited faces. Yes you are really reading this, I reenacted a well planned bed reveal, it was slightly staged but in the end just as magical. My mom and grandma drove over, we set the room up and got out the video camera. The boys didn't need the practice, they were excited and giddy enough on their own. It wasn't the picture perfect moment I had envisioned but in it's own way it was special.

My husband said to me this week, "Nicole not everything has to be a big production to be memorable". Although I don't want to live by that manta I think in some circumstances it is true, we will remember this, we will laugh at the frustrations and smile at our big boy Pacey's happy face.

Beds from Shopko
Bedding from Target

Paper Ornament Project

Here is a project I did last Christmas season with my oldest son, he was two at the time. Have fun making Paper Ornaments!!!


Looking for a great way to involve your kids in decorating for the season? Check out this easy Paper Ornament Project that can be done with kids of all ages!


What you will need:
-Gluestick
-Circle Hole Puncher
-Ribbon
-Christmas Paper(scrap paper)
-Your Kids!!


Step 1: Grab some scrap paper from around the house! Christmas colors are best for season!



Step 2: Cut 6 circles using the hole puncher.



Step 3: Fold the circles in half.



Step 4: Glue the top/outside parts of the circles and place a ribbon at in the middle on the glue. Fold the ribbon in half to make a loop.



Final Step: Place your Paper Ornament on the Christmas Tree!